Well, you're just across the street
Looks a mile to my feet
I want to go to you
Funny how I'm nervous still
I've always been the easy kill
I guess I always will

Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance?
Or only one way that it was always meant to be
You kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away

I can picture your face well
From the bar in my hotel
I wish I'd go to you
I pick up put down the phone
Like your favorite Heatmeiser song goes
It's just like being alone

Oh God, please don't tell me this has been in vain
I need answers for what all the waiting I've done means
You kill me, you've got some nerve, but can't face your mistakes
I know what I should do, but I just can't turn away

So go on love
Leave while there's still hope for escape
Got to take what you can these days
There's so much ahead
So much regret
I know what you want to say
I know it but can't help feeling differently
I loved you, and I should have said it
But tell me just what has it ever meant

I can't help it baby, this is who I am
Sorry, but I can't just go turn off how I feel
You kill me, you build me up, but just to watch me break
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away

+'s and -'s.


+christy gets here on friday, and thus begins a truly epic weekend.
+i FINALLY saw the bodies exhibition yesterday, it was really good.
+being on the radio with chris & 3/5 of 2* Sweet last night.
+got new sneakers so i won't break my ankle.
+britt found the funniest thing ever today, and i actually LOL'd when she sent it to me.
+hung out with kyle, kelley, and peter alllllll day yesterday, and it was fun.
+de finished drawing some stuff for me and erin! :D

-i heard something today that made me feel like i was having a for real heart attack. i thought i was going to pass out, throw up, or both.
-was so mad that my fists left finger nail cuts on the palms of my hands.
-almost crying over a bowl of life cereal when i got home, after sitting on the bus listening to (we are) the entireeee ride.
-"i thought i loved you, it was just how you looked in the light" "it hurts when someone you know, becomes someone you knew."
-people were talking about stuff today that's long over, we've both moved on, why can't everyone else?!
-my hoodie still hasn't gotten here, but they said it was shipping next week. so i guess that's kindof good.

it's true. and it was a really good film. i thought the whole concept of learning how to look past the problems and accepting people, and not rejecting people for being different was really well done. and the progression of lars' character from the beginning to the end. you can see him beginning to accept life. it's beautiful. i cried alot.

listening to dashboard confessional can some times make me so emotional that i actually cry. it's horrible. i get that terrible pit in my stomach. i should work through my issues better.

Me di se cuenta de frustrado porque quiero un bagel y los bagels no esta en mi casa. Yo nesisito un bagel! por favorrrr!!!
I realized that i'm frustrated because i want a bagel and there aren't an bagels in my house. i need a bagel please.
D:
passover really grinds my gears. Punk Rock Confidential featuring Skeleton Crew (!!!!) is out today. i'm going to the mall whenever i find the conviction to drag myself out of bed.
i woke up at 6 today, what kind of nonsense is that?! school is ruining me. vacation this week is gonna be good. cleaning today. it'll be good for me to get rid of some things.
i can't for jersey next weekend and mcr the weekend after that. seriously, it's much needed.

i have no witty commentary for anything right now. isn't that a stinker?

that statement can really be so dirty if used in the wrong context.
i totally credit credits for recommending Mysterious Skin, it's amazing! :D
My sister left chocolate in her bag on the floor of her room, and my dog ate alllll of it. that's not cool at all. 4 days til spring break, and it's not coming soon enough. i'm so worn out. i got my program for next year in the mail today-- AP English, AP US History, Spanish 4 Honors, Math 3 Enriched, Computer Graphics 1, Computer Graphics 2, gym. next year's going to be funnnn.
mostly all i want is for may to be here, so bamboozle and mcr can happen. and then skip ahead to summer so i can finally go to FIT. kthx.

the first draft of my wiretapping research paper is due tuesday. i'm writing it today =/ i haven't done +'s and -'s in a while.

+one week til spring break.
+i got 2 pairs of pants, and 2 pairs of shorts yesterday for 60$ total.
+i'm having pancakes for dinner tonight.
+it's almost spring break!
+after tuesday i'll have a whole month to write my final research paper.
+britt and i found a whole bunch of really great places for her to photog.

-my english paper has secretly been titled 'Bullshit on Bullshit' since i know absolutely nothing about wiretapping.
-passover starts next saturday, too many people will be at my house that weekend, i'm in complete denial about all of it.
-orthodontist appt. on thursday.
-multiple dr. and dentist appt.'s over spring break.
-i missed the Addams Family this morning.
-i didn't see any of my friends this weekend.
/hermit life. DDD: